I wish nothing more right now than to be where I was one year ago today. I was about to becoming someone's everything. And in our brief time together, I learned more about love and myself than I could have ever imagined. I thought I had found the one. I was done. I knew I wouldn't have any more searching to do. I knew this was it.
Flash forward to this past Saturday, June 15, when my world was turned upside down. The person I loved with all my heart told me he didn't want this. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be a relationship guy anymore. The person who had only done long term relationships no longer could. Maybe he needs some freedom. But why could that not have been with me?
Maybe its karma.
From what I had done just a few months ago to someone that had broke my heart before. To someone hardly worth mentioning. Would I go back? Never. Would I take back what I had done? Of course. I did not want to be labeled. I did not want half a school team hating me for something that did not concern them. I would take it back.
One year ago. I was currently on Skype. Talking to my potential boyfriend until who knows what hour in the morning. We did this every night. All Summer. I loved every moment. And just a few short weeks later, he would be visiting me making everything else that much more real.
But I can't go back. I can hope he's missing this moment as much as I am. And mostly for nostalgic reasons. I can't do anything right now but hope.
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