I wanted to see Alabama Shakes at LC Pavilion in Columbus, Ohio tonight, June 18, for my anniversary with Andrew. Alabama Shakes is a band he showed me last year that I know he loves. And I would have loved to see them. The Detroit show, which is tonight, has been sold out since I thought to look up their tour, automatically pushing it out. I figured Columbus isn't too far away, and we could just go for the night.
I was wrong.
Instead, I'm not working tomorrow at either job because I had requested the day off far in advanced. I made sure I wasn't doing anything. I planned on doing something fun. Anything. I didn't care what. I cared about who I spent it with.
Appropriately, here are the lyrics to "Hold On" by Alabama Shakes:
"Bless my heart, bless my soul.
Didn't think I'd make it to 22 years old.
There must be someone up above sayin',
'Come on, Brittany, you got to come on up.
You got to hold on...
Hey, you got to hold on..."'
So for now, I'm holding on. Not because I'm weak. Not because I expect to get back together. But because I want to be who we were. I found myself a better person with this person. As I was once told before, "You have changed my life. My whole perspective of the world has evolved since I met you. Nothing means as much to me as you do and nothing could ever mean as much to me as you do. You really are the rock that I can stand tall on when I'm feeling low."
I want to be loved like this. Love like this doesn't disappear. It doesn't fizzle out. Love like this can weather storms and sun. Love like this is meant to last. Sometimes it may not appear that way. But it always does. Love conquers all.
Love never does die, but its form can change. One of the best things that ever happened to me was a girl I dated in high school and early college. We broke up and it was rocky for a while, but slowly it changed from romantic love to something else, and now she is the best friend I've ever had, and she is my family. Hang in there, gal.
ReplyDeleteI know that its way too early to know what I want. But I know I want him in my life, but I just don't want that as friends. I just can't even think about doing that right now. And maybe that will change eventually, but for now, I still want him around, I just don't know how. Its just hard knowing and not knowing what's going to happen.
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