I never thought that the man who swept me off my feet so quickly would turn his back on me just as fast. I've never felt lost trying to talk to him or get his attention. I've never had to get his attention. All of the sudden, within a couple weeks, I'm fighting for what's left of this relationship; which is also leading up to our anniversary on June 19.
I just feel like I cannot do anything to stop what seems to be coming. I've tried and tried to get him to talk. I've tried to get him to express how he feels. I've talked about how I feel and what I think is going on. And he takes it, but doesn't express how he feels. How do you make someone happy when they say they're sad? What am I supposed to do? I'm always there; I'm always available to talk. I've always been there.
I'm lost. I needed to talk tonight. I needed it. I went there. He wasn't. I called. He now has fifteen missed calls. I just kept calling just to see if I could get his attention. But I couldn't. And now I'm lost. The person who always said he would always be there for me wasn't tonight. And I'm realizing that maybe he won't be in the future. He's been all consumed in his new "friends" that I still don't know. And never will. Because he wants to keep that separate. Because that makes sense, right? No. It doesn't. It makes me upset. But who cares what I think right?
I was told today that he appreciates all that I do for him. Taking him to Inverness for work and pleasure. Taking him to the grocery store. Taking him to rent a car. Renting cars for him. Driving everywhere. I've always felt like he's appreciated it, but not lately. Lately, it just seems like something I have to do. And I feel bad that I can't. But I don't mind doing it. I just want him to be happy.
I've always put others needs before my own. And I told myself I wouldn't in this. But I did. And it backfired. I was too nice, always there, always around. I drove there whenever I could. I was always able to talk unless I was working. I didn't hang out with friends so I could hang out with him.
What I want most right now is to know what's going on. Because I don't understand it. The person I love and care about is suddenly gone. And I don't know why. Everything was perfectly fine nearly two weeks ago. The only thing different are these new "friends" and I started a new job, which doesn't affect anything with us.
I want him back. I know I do. I've seen our whole future. We've talked about it. We want the same things. He supports me in my coffee shop dream. And its hard when you have all this already planned out. I don't want to let go, but he just keeps pushing me away. I was supposed to be perfect for him, his one and only, his green eyed girl, his everything. And now it seems like he's throwing it away for absolutely no reason. I think we have reached the power struggle stage of our relationship. But I've never made it through one of those with anyone. So let's see if he's the one that proves me wrong.
Info on Power Struggle Stage
Here is what I have gathered from this article:
We have left the romantic stage. Anyone who thinks this lasts forever is dumb. It doesn't it can't. You're only human.
Maybe we need to learn how to deal with what annoys us about each other.
We have been fighting more. But its about how you handle these arguments.
Miscommunication is occurring too much. "Communication with clarity is absolutely key during this stage."
Here's the webpage's verdict:
Verdict for long term: It's good if you can learn to handle disagreements amicably and reach compromises that work. If both of you have a clear sense of who you are at this stage, the long-term prospects are excellent. On the other hand, if you're prioritizing individual time over couple time, spending more time with your work colleagues and mates than with your partner and feel more like friends than lovers, then it's probable that without making an extra effort that the relationship won't last.
That give me hope. I hope he still has hope.
Info on Power Struggle Stage
Here is what I have gathered from this article:
We have left the romantic stage. Anyone who thinks this lasts forever is dumb. It doesn't it can't. You're only human.
Maybe we need to learn how to deal with what annoys us about each other.
We have been fighting more. But its about how you handle these arguments.
Miscommunication is occurring too much. "Communication with clarity is absolutely key during this stage."
Here's the webpage's verdict:
Verdict for long term: It's good if you can learn to handle disagreements amicably and reach compromises that work. If both of you have a clear sense of who you are at this stage, the long-term prospects are excellent. On the other hand, if you're prioritizing individual time over couple time, spending more time with your work colleagues and mates than with your partner and feel more like friends than lovers, then it's probable that without making an extra effort that the relationship won't last.
That give me hope. I hope he still has hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment