"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like?" from The Notebook.
I feel like this right now. I feel like I can't do anything about how I feel, even though I would love to. I can't make someone picture us together in the future if that's not what they want. But if it is, then why is it being fought so hard?
And I want a relationship I have to work at. Not meaning in how we get along, just how we make each other happy. I want something that challenges me to be a better me and us. I want to be able to talk about everything and anything. I want to appreciate everything we have and feel grateful for each other.
There's so much I had been looking forward to in the future. Knowing that you want to experience those with someone else is heartbreaking. Knowing that our future together has been jeopardized and thrown away is hard to deal with. Knowing that I'm not good enough for you hurts me.
I'm not sure what else is out there or if there even is anything. Time apart may bring us closer together or push us apart for good. Who knows? Its obviously a risk being taken and I'm not sure if that's realized yet.
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