Originally, I had started this blog during my freshman year of high school soon after a break up with someone. It was my way to vent, just like now, but everything I had posted on there was from the mind of a fifteen year old. When I started this blog, I looked at those posts. I thought I had good thoughts, but maybe didn't say them in the way I should. My sentences weren't complex and I used such simple wording. But after the events taking course over the last few weeks, I decided to look back again.
I now realize I'm not much different from that fifteen year old blogger trying to get her feelings out. That's exactly what I'm doing now. I came across the post (below this paragraph), and this is what made me think about this. all of these things I wanted to find in someone are still things I want. Although there are deeper things I want to find in someone, this is what I have tried to base all my relationships off of. I love guitar still, I love music, I love being different. I think that everything I have written in this post is true still to this day. And that makes me excited to see where my future leads to:
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Here's you, here's me, We can't keep this up.
Alright, so here is the truth. As much as I want to, I cannot do this. I cannot like you. I do, but I cannot, I should not. You hurt my friends and me. You went after my best friend. I do not think you are ready for a serious relationship. I do not think that we can work right now. When you are ready for a long-term relationship, call me. Until then, we can deal with just being friends. Unless, I am wrong and you think you have matured. If you are ready for more than two weeks together, then lets do this. I am up for a relationship. I could use one right now. See, this is my deal, I want this:
+ will always be there no matter what is going on.+ has good hair.+ is involved in sports.+ plays the guitar. + will be able to make me laugh even if I'm not in the mood. + listens to Relient K as much as I do.+ gets good grades.+ does all the 'typical' boyfriend stuff (i.e.-holding hands, etc)+ can hang out with my friends and me.+ will come over just to say hi.+ doesn't diss my extra-curriculars.+ is conservative+ will go into girlie stores at the mall and wouldn't care -hahh (:+ is looking for a long-term relationship+ likes those movies that deal with the government (i.e.-breach, shooter)+ loves every roller coaster at Cedar Point+ doesn't brag about themselves+ is willing to give all my 'weird bands' a chance+ would go to the art museum to see the Andy Warhol exhibit+ takes me golfing or something else random+ has classes in school with me so we can see each other a lot (:+ likes 24 (i.e. the best TV show ever)+ thinks acoustic music is amazing+ doesn't flirt with other girls especially when I'm around.+ will take me golfing or some other random thing (:+ is nice, sweet, kind.+ does not have a big ego+ is completely, 110% committed to me
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